I have received the following extraordinary message on my cellphone: Not c mila e2.bigay u no.margie.uwi naku bukas tapos na ang pag hihirap k d2.cenxa na. What does it mean? Is it a forgein language? Have I been contacted by aliens? Should I reply?
I was reared in Northern Ireland during the Troubles. It was a bitter, abnormal childhood and I spent most of it with my nose in Enid Blyton wishing I had a wishing chair to fly away to exotic locations where no-one cared if I was Catholic or Protestant.
Be careful of what you wish for: when I grew up my first proper job was based in the Middle East. I flew longhaul as an airstewardess for an international Arab airline; the ultimate exotic escape, don't you think?
Now I write escapist novels. Already I've had seven published. They are called The Pineapple Tart, A Soft Touch, The Dolly Holiday, Kissing the Frog, Cinderella's Sister, Enchanting Alice and The Revenge of Lady Muck
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