School Summer Holidays

School Summer Holidays - and this year it will be different. This year computer useage will be restricted to 15 minutes per child twice a day. We will use the timer on the stove with its deafening screech to indicate 'time up' - in past times we have relied on my deafening screech. Feeding times will be restricted to three hourly intervals - 0730, 1030, 1330, 1630, 1930 and the kitchen will be out of bounds at all other times (If premature babies require feeding only every two hours the tartlet children can stretch it to every three hours.)
There will be a compulsory rest period every afternoon for one hour, during which time each child will read to me and I will endeavour to remain awake during it.
Also: Footballs and roller skates are outdoor toys. Tennis racquets are not weapons. Teeth need brushing every day. Disney Channel talk is not acceptable. And please remember that sometimes your mother would like to pee in private.
I have tried a couple of times to read 'We Need To Talk About Kevin'. But honestly I just don't get it. It's the story of a woman who insists her son was born 'pure evil'. What a whingeing mother she is! Negativity spews from the pages. I always give up reading in depressed despair, less than half way through for she utterly misses the point of parenthood. Which is, of course: IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.
And I pity her - that never once, after a brutal day, does she look at her little sleeping son and say, as I say every night, "How could I ever have been cross with them? They're so angelic, asleep."