For my sins I volunteered to help out with Children's Church. The regular Children's Church leader - a primary school teacher with years of experience - was skeptical of my ability to cope. I could see it in her eyes. But in my innocence I thought: How hard can it possibly be to entertain and distract a dozen children aged 3 -6 for half an hour on a Friday morning? Don't I entertain and distract my own four every day....
Well, the answer is: terribly difficult. After this morning's exhausting fiasco, when the theme was Jesus turning water into wine I needed a strong drink myself - a dozen joyful little children can make an awful rumpus.
On reflection, perhaps I shouldn't have told them Jesus is a fun guy who loves to party. And I shouldn't have encouraged them to dance round the church hall, singing "He turned the water into wine, the best they ever had. Everyone is happy now, Let's all shout hurrah!"
Perhaps I should have stuck with script and insisted they sit quietly and colour in a picture?
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Ha! I had a party once for 14 8-year-olds: they ate the food out of the packets before I could get it served onto party plates and then ran outside and across the road like a flock of sheep to play with some other children. The "craft afternoon" lasted ten minutes. Then there was three hours of chaos and shouting. Afterwards I went to bed and cried.
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