The Stranger in the Mirror

I'd leave the house convinced that I looked tremendous: elegant, original, with a fascinating vintage twist. But.... by the time I reached the office full of busy efficient young women all looking indefinably right in their clothes it would be clear to me that what I had on was, equally indefinably, wrong. Not risibly unfashionable or disastrous mutton dressed as lamb, just very dowdy and a bit eccentric: an opinionated old bird in flat boots, trailing peculiar bits of vintage finery.